On Lost, Loneliness, and Love
I haven’t been writing because the truth is I’m lost. Or rather, I’m dejected. I failed to acquire what I set out to acquire, despite over 90 tries. It was either silence or rejection.
This failure resulted in an attack on my self worth and confidence. Inevitably so. So I hid. I did no work. I wandered aimlessly.
I realize now we don't feel lonely because we don't make meaningful connections - we feel lonely when we don't feel that we matter to someone else. We want to feel needed. We could have a handful of good friends and still feel lonely unless we feel we are needed by the people that matter to us.
Love isn’t merely words. Love is putting the interest of another above your own.
The more you hurt, the fewer your words.