You notice what you love.

You notice what you love. The crease on his brow. The scowl on his lips. It doesn’t mean that you dislike that about him or that you’re negatively affected by his outward expression. It means that you care about him to notice the things that frustrate him.

It took me a while to realize this. You see, before this realization sets in, I blamed myself. Do I not love him? Why do I get upset when he’s upset? Why am I not patient with him? Why do I not understand his frustrations?

This realization came suddenly but profoundly: You notice what you love. The good, the ugly, the bright, the dark. You notice because you care. You notice because it matters to you.

That’s when I realize, it’s not that I’m selfish and nonchalant (for a long time I believed I was). It’s precisely because I care for him, because he matters to me, that his frustrations inadvertently become mine.

And this is what it means when two becomes one.